2025 Word of the Year: Patience

Let me set the scene: It’s January 1st, and I’m covered in dust and stain from a DIY kitchen cabinet project. My kids are arguing in the background about who gets to use the bathroom first, and my phone is buzzing with what I’m sure are unnecessarily long texts from my ex-husband. At that moment, it hit me—if I’m going to survive 2025, I need to work on something big. And that something? Patience.

I’ve never been one to pick a word for the year. But 2025 rolled in, and I felt the need to choose not just a word but, let’s call it what it is, a personality flaw to work on: patience.

Now, I’m not the most patient person—never have been. I’m a fixer. If there’s a problem, I want to solve it. I want to feel useful. Sitting back and letting things play out? Not exactly my strong suit. But here we are, three days into the year, and my newfound commitment to patience has already been tested. And let me tell you, the universe isn’t holding back.

As the year kicks into gear, let’s dive straight into the challenges that have me testing my resolve.

Ex-Husband Drama

Let’s kick things off with the ex-husband—because, really, why not? If you’ve been following along, you know I have three kids with my ex. We’ve been divorced for over four years, and while we’ve worked hard to make co-parenting smoother for the kids, let’s say it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

Case in point: my daughter, who’s recently discovered her love for wrestling. She’s all-in, which I’m thrilled about, but last night was supposed to be our one night at home. She’s had practices all week, and I decided she needed a rest day. Logical, right? Well, my daughter disagreed.

Instead of accepting my decision, she called her dad behind my back to take her to the gym. Of course, he said yes without checking in with me. Classic. Now, if I’d pulled a stunt like this on him, I’d be bombarded with dissertation-length texts about boundaries and respect. But instead of losing my cool, I channeled my 2025 word. I calmly (yes, calmly!) asked him to communicate with me in the future.

Guess what? He sent back a short, four-line text apologizing. A short text. From him. If that’s not a testament to the power of patience, I don’t know what is.

Non-Existent Mother Issues

This is where patience truly gets tested. Parenting alongside someone who is entirely absent is like trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces. It’s not about frustration with the child; it’s the weight of seeing how someone else’s choices leave them vulnerable. And that’s precisely why patience is so crucial here. It’s about giving grace where it’s needed most and remembering that my role is to support my stepdaughter as she processes what her mom’s absence means for her.

Moving on to the other side of the parenting spectrum: my stepdaughter’s mom. She’s, well, absent. She didn’t even call to wish her daughter a Happy New Year and brought her back early on Christmas Day. Moments like this make my blood boil, but the one who feels the absence the most? My stepdaughter.

This morning, as I was flipping pancakes for the kids (for the third time this week—you’re welcome, IHOP), she asked for seconds, as she always does. My first instinct was to get snarky, not at her but at the situation. Because it’s not her fault. It’s her mom’s choices that frustrate me.

So, instead of snapping, I reminded myself: patience. The reality is that kids see their parents’ true colors over time. I’ve seen it happen with my students. It’s heartbreaking but real. My job isn’t to throw fuel on the fire; it’s to give her grace and patience while she processes her mom’s absence. Easier said than done, but hey, I’m working on it.

The “Life Is Too Expensive” Dilemma

Can we talk about how ridiculously expensive life has gotten? The other day, I was on my way to Walmart because, apparently, they had a sale on something we needed. As I’m sitting at a red light, three cars in front of me roll down their windows to hand money to a man with a cardboard sign. And while I’m all for helping those in need, in that moment, I wanted to roll down my window and yell, “Same! I’m working full-time and can’t afford to live either!”

Groceries? Don’t even get me started. A $500 Costco trip used to last us a month. Now it’s $700, and I’m leaving with less than before. Hamburger Helper is a luxury at this point. And yet, we’re somehow expected to make it work. So, in the spirit of patience, I’m committing to saying no to extras, sticking to our budget, and creating more at-home family fun.

But seriously, if anyone knows how to make the U.S. grocery pricing committee listen to reason, let me know.

The Third Bathroom Saga

Finally, let’s address the “we’re not moving” debacle. My husband and I had dreams of selling our current house (bought from my ex-husband, so, you know, baggage) and upgrading to something bigger and brighter. But after months of open houses, number crunching, and deep sighs, it’s clear moving isn’t in the cards.

With five kids and one full bathroom, something has to give. The good news is that my parents have offered to help fund a much-needed bathroom addition. While this isn’t the clean slate we’d envisioned, it’s a step forward, and honestly, I’m grateful. Mornings in our house will be significantly less chaotic once we’re not all fighting for mirror time.

Wrapping It Up

If these first few days of 2025 are any indication, practicing patience is going to be a wild ride. But here’s the thing: every challenge so far has proven it’s worth it. Whether it’s a text exchange with my ex, a heartfelt moment with my stepdaughter, or finding humor in the everyday struggles of parenting and adulting, patience is proving to be a game-changer.

If these first few days of 2025 are any indication, practicing patience is going to be a wild ride. But here’s the thing: every challenge so far has proven it’s worth it. Whether it’s a text exchange with my ex, a heartfelt moment with my stepdaughter, or finding humor in the everyday struggles of parenting and adulting, patience is proving to be a game-changer. It’s given me a clearer perspective, helped me communicate more effectively, and allowed me to approach challenging moments with a bit more grace—and a lot less stress.

So, if you’re reading this and thinking about your word for 2025, consider picking something that stretches you. Because let’s be honest: the best growth happens when we’re a little uncomfortable—and maybe covered in dust and kitchen cabinet stain. Cheers to a year of patience, growth, and (hopefully) fewer dissertation texts.